Sunday, February 19, 2006
Look, its the 'reflection of my life' time again.
Bah. Every year i will ask myself- What have i accomplished? Yet again i realised- Nothing!
But i am proud to say that i have accomplished one of my resolutions.(another one in May, insya-Allah *cross fingers*) Ok so its not 2-0-0-6's one. It was last year's but at least im proud to say i have done and did it! *pats on back*
Now the big question comes? Whats next? 10 more months to go....NO...dont get all excited. I am, repeat I am NOT getting married but 10 more months to the end of 2006. We all know that time flies so fast. I wished i could lock myself in a time capsule and preserve my age and stay youthful forever. But that is such a bimbotic idea No. *sigh* Yet agn i realise how fast my biological clock is ticking...as im slowly creeping into the big three ZERO...*gasp* k k dont go on pitying me, its still a few more years to go but im scared how closer i am to it. I am left with that X no of years to quickly get married settle down and start making babies. The mere thought of that send shivers down my spine. I mean don't get me wrong, i would love to have my very own ina or H's junior...but the idea of matrimonial bliss doesnt seem at all blissful to me. I am scared of the ever after till death do us part. I am afraid of waking up, coming back home to him and him and him. Pls yet agn, don't get me wrong. I love him dearly and deeply. Stab me if you don't believe me for i bleed only for him. So why do i have this thoughts? I dunno.
As of right now...i could already start planning the M-Day.I know what goes on the dulangs...i already have saved enough moos for all the dinners,berkats and stuffs to the extend that i am already visualizing how to decorate my future love nest but ask me- set the date and i go all jittery. I get all the goose pimples and i can feel the panic attack come.
Does this happen only to me? Does any of you undergo this? I have been with him the longest that believe me, he has see my thin and fat days, my pretty and ugly days, my smelly and perfumed days.....yet despite all my shortcomings, he still love me and wants to be for-e-ver!I am very lucky i know, to have someone who puts me on the pedestral and worships the ground i walk on. So why cant i....
*sigh*
i guess there is no denying that the time will finally come...mebbe not in this 10 months...
For now, i must meditate, set my karma and accept that my time is finally up....
--------will be on hiatus--------
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ina sighed at 1:10 AM
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